That’s Wet! a Golf blog in West Palm Beach Florida

Like the rest of you “mad gophers” I read my share of golf instruction in magazines and online in search of swing nirvana. I know it’s pointless, but I enjoy the delusion. But one thing that really pisses me off are some of the training aids these instructors whip out of their ass.

Exhibit one:

“Here’s how to do it

• Secure a scorecard pencil between two sets of tees in front of the hole as shown.
• Putt a few balls from anywhere from three to five feet from the hole. The idea is to hit these putts with enough force that the ball pops over the pencil and then into the hole. You’ll quickly learn that to sink your putts with the proper amount of speed, you can’t baby the ball to the hole, nor can you rocket it, because too much speed will pop the ball over both the pencil and the hole.
• Once you get to the point where you can consistently pop eight out of 10 putts over the pencil and into the hole, remove the pencil and try to sink your putts with the same velocity through the two tees—these putts should always hit somewhere on the back of the cup. Then remove the tees and work on maintaining the same speed and line.”

This article needs an instruction tip on how to make the home made training aid…

1. buy superglue
2. take pencil from golf course or from golf bag
3. suspend golf pencil magically between two tees using superglue
4. buy turpentine to remove superglue from hands and to remove tees that have become permanently attached to your pinkies and index fingers
5. be “weally weally gentle” when you place your rugby goal post simulation on the green
6. ignore the people on the practice green looking at you like you’re a complete fucking idiot
7. now putt
8. hope your ball flies magically over the goal post and into the hole - not through it like The General Lee in an episode of Dukes of Hazard going through a bridge closed sign
9. if you accomplish this shit call the Guinness book of World records and go enter q-school

Now if you still want to go read this article go pick up the latest copy of Golf Magazine or read the article online here.